A rose amongst many. Photo by Tia Poissant. 

While reading the assigned text chapters over the past weeks, a few themes have particularly stuck out to me. Perhaps this is due to my job as a Graduate Student Assistant for PSYC 150, the new Psychology of Human Relationships class, which introduces attachment styles and boundaries. Both of these subjects were discussed within the past few weeks of reading. Throughout much of the reading, I found the advice helpful and straightforward, full of practical skills that would be necessary to just practice until mastered. However, the two rather different concepts of creating a safe haven and using self-disclosure felt similar to me in that they are not just skills, but they also have the capacity to reveal much about our own level of health and functioning.

Dr. Thomas and Dr. Sosin first discuss the creation of a safe haven environment in Chapter 5 of their text (2011). Due to my knowledge and love of attachment theory, I found it interesting that we would use attachment terminology in discussing a relationship between a counselor and a counselee. Perhaps because I had been so focused on professionalism and doing the job well, I forgot to think about how this dynamic is far different than that of many helping professions. Safety for the sake of vulnerability must be established. Obviously, this is different than other attachment bonds relationships, especially in adulthood, as the safe haven is only being provided in one direction. However, understanding and creating an environment of freedom and safety must be partially established by how you interact with, and even view, the counselee.

Additionally, further Psychology 150 basics are discussed in Chapter 7, which discusses general methods of feedback to add into the session (Thomas & Sosin, 2011). In the matter of self-disclosure, extreme caution and exercising of excellent boundaries must be utilized. The idea of self-disclosure is so heavily linked to the idea of the attachment bond in my mind. In a secure bond, you will self-disclose. You will naturally and healthily open up. However, in a counseling setting,  opening up is, and should be, only one sided. Overall, the art of counseling, once again, becomes a balancing act of using your interpersonal skills to foster connection and vulnerability with the client, while also intentionally crafting that bond to benefit only the counselee.

Thomas, J. C., & Sosin, L. (2011). Therapeutic expedition: Equipping the Christian counselor for the journey. B&H Publishing.