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| Photocred: Kate Marcus of Paperheart Photography |
Though I have enjoyed much of the content in these chapters, I found Chapter seven the most interesting and helpful thus far. So many lines in this chapter are now bright neon yellow, as the words resonated with me while providing necessary clarification. Feedback, especially for the strong-willed extrovert writing this post, is natural in human relationships. However, they must be tailored appropriately in the counseling setting. While reading this chapter, I realized that I naturally utilize many of these "skills of facilitation", including feedback, self-disclosure, interpretation, confrontation, and immediacy. Often, in moments of using these, especially with friends outside of the counseling/psychology realm, I have heard the words we all have, "Yea, you'll make a great counselor." Due to these characteristics being an easily visible part of the counseling process, they can often be mis-construed as most important. However, as we have been learning the counselor/counselee relationship takes great precedence. Even in the famous book by Cloud & Townsend, Boundaries, we learn that in any relationship, the bond should precede boundary setting (1992). I broke down my natural inclinations and built a more sustainable and appropriate foundation, but as that process formed I began to miss and crave the feedback portion of the counseling process. This chapter, rightly timed, confirmed my natural tendencies, while teaching me how to properly channel them. I've learned through many a personal relationship that feedback is not always appropriate, and with some, never desired. Therefore, I want to be all the more cautious in my counseling relationships. I am, honestly, so grateful and excited to be able to intentionally identify these aspects of feedback, and to intensely discipline my natural abilities to be most beneficial to those I will get the privilege to counsel.
Haha, interesting about your blog post. Nicely written. I, too, have had friends tell me I would make a good counselor. It is quite funny tho, most people equate good counselors to be people who listen well and provide advice back. Yet, in reality, counseling is not so much as giving feedback (or advice-giving in this case) as it is more-so than listening, helping the client explore themselves, and helping them find their own answers. In other words, unlike popular opinion, counselors are not really about giving out answers, it is much more helping the clients find their own.
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