…REALLY, WHO AM I?

Caption: Masks-Drama-Human-Story-Zen-Question-Identity

URL: https://pixabay.com/en/masks-drama-human-story-zen-807346/

Imagine that you have a meeting with the board of directors of your company. You must present on a specific product that you have been working on. Apart from the preparation process pertaining to this meeting, you are married and have two-year old twins, and must take care of your family. You are going through interpersonal conflicts, and you are struggling with finding out who you are. You are not okay, but because you have made this commitment, you arrive at the meeting, well-dressed and polished up, holding everything together. You are presenting your facts and statistics, and at the end you get a standing ovation, but inside you feel crashed and shattered, not wanting to be there in the first place.  

This story and many others are representations of what we as humans go through and what our clients could present. Everyone struggles, but with a culture that is time-oriented, there is almost no time to stop to smell the flowers. Many walk life going through the motions, not knowing who they are, while doing what needs to be done irrespective of health damage or consequences. Sometimes, behind the “polished-up mask” lays hurt, confusion, low self-esteem and pain. Young (2017) describes self-worth as a universal feeling that acknowledges the right to one’s existence. Being consumed by a culture that promotes results, many do not get the time to discover who they truly are, and some lose their self-worth when they do not attain the standards set by the society; they hide behind what is expected and cover up what they are going through.

There are so many factors that affect the perceived worth of an individual. In addition to interpersonal conflicts, research shows that one’s job performance can affect one’s self esteem or perceived self-worth (Ferris et al., 2010). As counselors, we are aware that our client’s presenting issues may not be the main problem. We must look beyond the cover of the book! Beyond the mask, there is the “real” issue. It is our calling to help our clients, who have had to walk in disguises, uncover who they truly are.

References

Ferris, D. L., Lian, H., Brown, D. J., Pang, F. J., & Keeping, L. M. (2010). Self-esteem and job

            performance: the moderating role of self-esteem contingencies. Personnel

            Psychology, 63(3), 561-593. doi:10.1111/j.1744-6570.2010.01181.x

Young, M. E (2017). Learning the Art of Helping: Building Blocks and Techniques

            (6^thed.). Boston, MA: Pearson.