Caption: Padlock, Gate, Locked, Private
URL: https://pixabay.com/en/padlock-gate-locked-private-219689/
I consider myself to be a private person
and others often confuse this with being secretive. I am more open than
secretive, but am able to keep another person's secret to myself. There is
a section of chapter six that covers secrets, which I found really interesting
(Young, 2017). As a counselor, it
is imperative to be able to keep someone's information confidential. Some
clients will reveal their deepest secrets with their therapist because it is
the only person they know who will not judge or expose them. Yet, those of
Korean culture feel opposite and do not disclose with individuals who have
authority (Han & O’Brien, 2014). It is shown that such disclosure actually
builds the relationship between therapist and client (Kelly & Yuan, 2009). Furthermore,
it is important for the counselor to encourage the client to dig deep because
it will help the client eliminate their symptoms (Young, 2017). There is a
saying used among Alcoholics Anonymous members that "you are only as sick
as your darkest secret" (Young, 2017, p. 127). It implies that the more
you keep things inside, the more difficult it is to cope with one's illness. We
must reveal the things about ourselves that we are not proud of, because facing
our shortcomings will help us grow from them (Young, 2017). The book expresses
more reasons why being open is beneficial. It says that telling others can help
the person develop a new perspective and motivate them to change if they value
other’s opinions (Young, 2017). It is relieving to learn about such benefits
while living in a world where so many people are told to keep their business
personal to "save face.” I think I could use this information to teach my
clients why it is helpful to be open in counseling.
Han, Y. J., & O’Brien, K. M. (2014).
Critical secret disclosure in psychotherapy with
Korean clients. The Counseling Psychologist, 42(4),
524-551.
Kelly, A.E., & Yuan, K. (2009). Clients’
secret keeping and the working alliance in adult
outpatient therapy.
Psychotherapy: Theory, Research,
Practice, Training, 46(2),
193-202.
Young,
M. E. (2017). Learning the art of helping: Building blocks and
techniques (6th
ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson.
Confidentiality and keeping clients’ secrets is definitely a sensitive issue. In my own perspective, I believe someone must earn my trust before I tell them any sort of secret or information I consider more personal. Until that time comes, I will not disclose anything along those lines. On a different note but similar concept, there are times I do not share things with others because I simply do not think about them. To me, they are already second-nature because I know myself, and I do not regularly talk about what is going on in my life unless someone asks. It is due to both of these facts about myself that I understand both sides of clients’ thoughts concerning sharing vs. not sharing. As we continue through our program, I look forward to learning more about building trust in counselor-client relationships to promote that sharing of experiences.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteI admire that you make others earn your trust before you begin to open up about things that are personal. In undergrad, I was told by different people that I was like an "open book" and it made me think about what that actually meant. I got tired of people being so comfortable with me and feeling like they knew everything about me. I later realized it was because I was telling them everything. Eventually, I got older and was not as naive anymore. Also, some people used some things I told them against me and it made me become a more private and cautious person. I only tell what I do not mind being repeated and I think more before I speak.