Challenging through Confrontation

Caption: Boss denying something saying no with a finger gesture to an upset employee in her office
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I think that one of the most important skills that I may find myself struggling with is the challenging skill. This more advanced skill is needed to help clients grow by noticing inconsistencies. I think the key to challenging is balancing the confrontation with sensitivity and support so that the client does not feel attacked, but he will rather more receptive to the opposing view. Young (2017, pp. 156) explains, “We all use such defense mechanisms to distort reality so that we can reduce anxiety.” By challenging through confrontation, we can shed light on a blind spot in a client’s life to help them face reality and break down the walls of these defense mechanisms.

            One very sensitive subject to challenge is a client’s irrational beliefs, but this may be one of the most necessary areas to challenge since so much emotional suffering can be brought on by irrational beliefs. By challenging irrational beliefs, the counselor can become a mirror of sorts to reflect the irrational thinking of the client and help the client see that there may be a more realistic, healthy way of viewing himself and the world. By asking clarifying questions such as, “Would it really be the end of the world?” the counselor can help the client come to a more practical understanding of some negative consequence they may be exploring. Spong (2012) explores the idea of challenging a client’s prejudice within the counseling relationship and explains that when challenging prejudice, counselors must remember to balance congruence and unconditional positive regard. Challenging with confrontation is among the more advanced counseling skills, but it may prove necessary to move the client to a place where he may grow and change.

References

Spong, S. J. (2012). The challenge of prejudice: counsellors’ talk about challenging clients’ prejudices. British Journal Of Guidance & Counselling, 40(2), 113-125. doi:10.1080/03069885.2011.646948

Young, M. (2017). Learning the art of helping, 6^th edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.