Caption: Coffee
and conversation
URL:
https://s27.postimg.org/lgoc4yhwz/IMG_1588.jpg
Underlying
the need for counseling is one simple truth: within all of us is a deeply human
desire to be heard. Counseling provides for some what they cannot find anywhere
else— a listening and loving ear.
We
live in a world where noise is the norm and this noise is only increasing by
the day. The noise we are surrounded by is not limited to only physical sounds,
but is apparent in many other ways. Technology, for instance, has created a
distinct type of noise. This noise is the clang of immediacy, of social media, news,
and conversations that never stop and demand our urgent attention. It clouds
our mental quietness with the knowledge that it is always available, always
ready for our eyes to start scrolling and our fingers to double-tap.
There
is an art to listening – it is both a science and a state of mind. There are
specific ways to listen well (Rautalinko, 2013).
It is not an easy command, but comes with research and experience to guide us
in the specifics.These
techniques of listening, such as reflecting, paralanguage, paraphrasing, or
summarizing, all point to the idea that we, as counselors and as Christians,
must learn to listen well (Johnson & Pugach, 2004). Amidst all of the noise
in the world there is rarely a space for anyone to sit quietly, to feel, to
dialogue, to speak openly to someone whose sole focus is their conversation.
Counseling provides, or should provide, a space where the client feels
supremely heard. We are made to exist in community, and community can only
exist if its members commit to listening to one another. If we are to love our
clients well, we must learn to listen well, because listening is loving.
References
Johnson, L., & Pugach, M. (2004). Listening skills to facilitate effective communication. Counseling
and Human Development, 36(6), 1-8.
Preferences moderated by social
skills and cognitive ability. Counselling & Psychotherapy Research, 13(1),
24-31.
Well said, Brenn. Our culture does seem to be a very noisy one, and technology does play a large part in that. It is interesting that this week, I was much more aware of that "noise". Perhaps this awareness is coming from the fact that as counselors in training, we are learning to focus in and listen well to our future clients. This week, I also was more aware of times when others outside of our program were not listening well. I found myself thinking, "this person is totally not listening to me right now." It tempted me to become frustrated, but I think a more positive response I could choose is to push myself to become an even better listener to my clients, my friends, and indeed, everyone I meet. Thank you for great post!
ReplyDeleteAmber Bateman
Amber,
DeleteThank you so much for the encouragement! It is so interesting how the things we are learning in this program begin to change the way we observe things, think about things, and interact with our friends and family. I, too, have started to notice when others really aren't listening to me, and when I am honestly not listening well to others. I'm hoping that self-awareness is the first step, and that with some practice I can begin to listen well all of the time.
I enjoyed your post, Brenn! I find myself having difficulties being still. I am easily distracted by the simplest of noise as well as my own thoughts that run through my mind that I fail to focus on the people I am speaking to. Your comment reminded me of a discussion we had last year of the new phenomenon that teenagers are experiencing now “fear of missing out.” We become consumed by technology and the world around us we forget to enjoy the simple things in life. After reading your post I was able to reflect that I have the potential to be that quiet place that encourages a person to think about life but also be that safe haven to discuss life's challenges. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete