One problem that many of of will face is staying focused on our client during the session. I find myself struggling with this even talking to my friends in everyday life. Oftentimes there is so much going on in my life that my head is constantly going, and at times I zone out and miss what someone is saying to me. Young (2017) mentions this problem, calling the mental distraction “noise”. The image of an old tv on a blank station comes to mind. That constant, terrible sound that seems to interrupt all other sounds. According to Young, one of the primary causes of mental noise is when a client tells a story that evokes a personal memory (2017). I have found that in my practice sessions, this is a very easy trap to fall into. The client is telling their story, and their voice slowly falls into the background of my mind as I recall a memory from my past. My first response when I catch on has been to pretend like I have been listening the whole time, and to focus on the few words I have actually heard. A better approach suggested by Young, is to politely stop the client, ask them to repeat what they just said, and to paraphrase what you did hear. Although this may be awkward and disruptive, it is a much better solution than missing what a client has been trying to tell you (2017). It is crucial to remember that the focus of the session is the client, and it means the world to them to know that they have someone’s full attention and positive regard. We need to stay on guard, and be aware of where our attention is focused in a session.
Young, M. (2017).
Learning the art of helping, 6th
edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.
ISBN: 0-13-416578-0
Garrett,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post! I connected with what you said because I have experienced this too in both my daily life and my triad counseling sessions. I think that it is such a natural tendency to connect what we hear others saying with our lives and experiences, but it can be very distracting and even selfish at times. The solution that you mentioned to this problem surprised me, but then I realized that I do that in regular conversation with friends, and it can be extremely helpful. I'm excited to try it out in future counseling session!
Garrett, I can definitely familiarize myself with your situation. It's great that you were honest enough to mention that you sometimes remember things in your past and forget to focus on the clients. Our focus should fully be on the client because we are trying to help them. However, it can be difficult when that mental noise occurs. I was unaware that you should stop the client if you weren't tracking with them, ask them to repeat what they said, and paraphrase the material. I can see how that will be beneficial; nevertheless, it may be awkward or uncomfortable at times. This shows how important it is to be fully present with the client.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouraging comment Joe! I have to admit, I was also unaware that we should admit to a client that we missed what they said. It seems like it could be hurtful to them, but I think in being honest that we zoned out, a client will understand, and appreciate that you care enough about what they said to have them repeat it. None of us have perfect focus, and it is bound to happen to us in a counseling session. I am thankful that I found this piece of advice from the tex on how to handle this type of mistake.
DeleteGarrett,
ReplyDeleteYou are so right…It is easy to get trapped in the noise in our own heads. As counselors, who are not only expected, but needed, to be fully present with our clients, this can be a challenge. Therefore, we should become good managers of our minds. Just like developing any new skill, this calls for practice, practice, and still more practice! Cognitive-behavioral therapies offer many exercises that help individuals to focus on the present and be intentionally aware of one’s thought life. Utilizing some of the same skills we teach our clients can be a good way for the therapist to become more mindful of the present and more attentively available for our clients.
Thanks for sharing this information with us Garrett. I found it to be very helpful. Though I feel like I have done a decent job at being present in our practice, there have definitely been times where my mind may start to wander. For me, my initial reaction would be to act like I was listening and move on. I really like your alternate suggestion though. As a counselor pursuing an authentic relationship and understanding of clients, I think that it is very important to hear everything the client is disclosing. This may mean that we have to ask them to repeat themselves so that we don't lose information. I think it is dangerous to lose bits and pieces of what a client is saying, because we may try to fill in the blanks ourselves, or won't be able to form a true understanding of the situation. I think that something that could help us as counselors is mindfulness training as well as taking time to self evaluate ourselves. This may allow us to be more aware of our present state as well as be aware of some of our triggers. Again, thank you for sharing this great bit of advice.
ReplyDeleteGarrett, I totally understand where you are coming from, my problem is the constant ringing in my ears. It is so disruptive that I often finding myself drifting. I like your suggestion of stopping the client and asking them to repeat themselves, that shows respect and authenticity with your client. Thank you for such a great suggestion.It is hard sometimes in a quiet setting, such as we have been practicing to get distracted in your own head, I am sure it is something many of us do.
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