Bonnie Tucker

Being Filled by the Light of God's Love

 Being Filled John 17:12-13, “While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. 13 But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.” (Holy Bible, ESV)

 This week was a time that I struggled with the problem of letting go. I had just distanced myself from some family considerations that I felt I was being pulled into and did not want to be there. As I was doing my devotions for the night I started reading in John 17. These verses made me realize that even though I wanted to be there to help them, that I had to let go and let them make their own decisions. I came to a hard realization that I was not going to always be here to give them advice; I needed to allow them to grow in Jesus and become their own person. After reading theses verses and talking to God, I had the most restful peace settle over me and I knew he had it in His hand. 


 Resources
Allen, A. (2015). Authenticity: What happens when the real you show up.
         Storyboard, LLC. Printed in the United States of America

Clinton, T. and Springe, P. (2012). Break Through. Worthy Publishing, Brentwood, TN

Blog Post 1

            I will be discussing nonverbal communication, as discussed by Scott Meier and Susan Davis (2011). As Meir and Davis state on nonverbal “People communicate with each other by paying attention to the verbal content of messages and to the most overt nonverbal messages (for example, smiling, frowning and making a fist.” (Meir and Davies, 2011).  They then go on to discuss the vital role understand nonverbal communication can benefit a counselor. Discussing how it can help the counselor decipher what the counselee is feeling throughout the session. This is a vital skill for the counselor as it will allow them to know how to properly counsel the counselee throughout whatever emotions they might be feeling. They even cite counselors trusting nonverbal sometimes over the verbals of some clients, it is information such as this that must make counselors really delve into nonverbal communication study and research.

            As Fatik Baran Mandal (2014) cites some of these examples citing his studying stating “Men make more seating position shifts than woman, make smaller gestures, and move their feet less in the second interview than women. Women show more facial expression than men. Some particular body signals are significant to women while others are only by men.” (Mandal, 2014). It is information like this that lets us be aware of the difference between the genders in terms of nonverbal, studies like this are important as it is important to be aware of the different body language between the genders.

            Another study cited by Brook and Servatka (2016) states “that almost two-thirds of the meaning of a social encounter is derived from nonverbal cues.” (Brook and Servatka, 2016). This study goes on to detail how crucial nonverbals in communication and as counselors we must strive to be master of this art. It is studies like this that will help us refine our skills through knowledge and reaffirm our commitment.

Caption: Male Therapist with Unconcerned Girl Patient

URL: . http://quest.eb.com/search/counseling-session/1/139_1932537/Therapy-session

References

Mandal, F.B. (2014). Nonverbal communications in humans. Journal of human behavior in the social environment.

Brook, R. Serbatka, M. (2016) The anticipatory effect of nonverbal communication. Economics letters.

Male Therapist with Unconcerned Girl Patient. Photograph. Encyclopedia Britannica Image Quest. 14 Feb 2017. 

URL: http://quest.eb.com/search/counseling-session/1/139_1932537/Therapy-session

Blocking the noise

          Image retrieved from: https://www.pexels.com/photo/night-television-tv-video-8158/

One problem that many of of will face is staying focused on our client during the session. I find myself struggling with this even talking to my friends in everyday life. Oftentimes there is so much going on in my life that my head is constantly going, and at times I zone out and miss what someone is saying to me. Young (2017) mentions this problem, calling the mental distraction “noise”. The image of an old tv on a blank station comes to mind. That constant, terrible sound that seems to interrupt all other sounds. According to Young, one of the primary causes of mental noise is when a client tells a story that evokes a personal memory (2017). I have found that in my practice sessions, this is a very easy trap to fall into. The client is telling their story, and their voice slowly falls into the background of my mind as I recall a memory from my past. My first response when I catch on has been to pretend like I have been listening the whole time, and to focus on the few words I have actually heard. A better approach suggested by Young, is to politely stop the client, ask them to repeat what they just said, and to paraphrase what you did hear. Although this may be awkward and disruptive, it is a much better solution than missing what a client has been trying to tell you (2017). It is crucial to remember that the focus of the session is the client, and it means the world to them to know that they have someone’s full attention and positive regard. We need to stay on guard, and be aware of where our attention is focused in a session.

Young, M. (2017). Learning the art of helping, 6^th edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.     ISBN: 0-13-416578-0