When
building relationships, we usually begin with sharing something about
ourselves. As time goes on, we continue
to disclose more and more of our experiences, perspectives, and feelings about
certain aspects of our lives. The same is
true for the counseling relationship.
Clients choose to initiate counseling, and are usually hesitant at first
to share too much too soon. In other
words, they are hesitant to share extremely personal things early on in their
counseling process. For individuals who
bring certain issues to counseling that are atypical or not easily related to
by others, like mental illness for example, there is even more caution before
deciding to share or even seek support in the first place (Roxburgh &
Evenden, 2016). From the very beginning,
counselors must keep in mind that they have a great deal of influence on the
direction of the sessions. Whether
recognized or not, the conversation is essentially molded by the helping
professional. Because this is the case
and because clients are (usually) voluntarily seeking help, the counselor must
display empathy and support in order to bring about positive outcomes.
As
human beings, we have an innate need to receive support and esteem from those
around us (Hart & McGarragle, 2010).
Sometimes counselors are the only individuals in a person’s life that do
so. This delicate situation is further
complicated by the fact that a majority of the time, genuine and lasting change
is only brought about by challenging inconsistencies between clients’
values/beliefs and actions. Through
using challenging, the client becomes aware of the steps they need to take in
order to once again align themselves in both values and actions. All the while, it is critical to continue to
support the client while challenging because the removal of support severely
damages the relationship and prevents the client from working through their
issues.
Caption:
Hand, United Hands, United, Together, People, Unity
URL:
https://pixabay.com/en/hand-united-hands-united-together-1917895/
Hart, K. E., & McGarragle, O. (2010). Perceived
social support from counselors and client sobriety during aftercare: A pilot
study of emotional and functional support. Alcoholism
Treatment Quarterly, 28, 198-229. doi: 10.1080/07347321003648216
Roxburgh, E. C., & Evenden, R. E. (2016). ‘Most
people think you’re a fruit loop’: Clients’ experiences of seeking support for
anomalous experiences. Counseling and
Psychotherapy Research, 16(3),
211-221. doi: 10.1002/capr.12 077
Thank you for the post, Nicole! I was struck by the thought that a counselor might be the only person in someone’s life who gives support. As you said, a counselor may also be the only person who can provide supportive challenging that the client might desperately need. I have personal experiences where I felt like I was just not able to “get through” to a person close to me. Because their actions affected me as well, it was hard to be both supportive and challenging at the same time without personal bias. I think many families find themselves in this situation. Sometimes that struggling family member really does need to be challenged in their thinking, but because of emotions and hard feelings, their loved ones do not know how to reach them. This is where our counseling skills of challenging while supporting comes in handy!
ReplyDeleteDear Nicole,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about the importance of support and challenging within the therapeutic relationship. I liked how you mentioned that clients, of course, are the ones to initiate counseling. It is interesting that people seek help, but are often afraid to share. Perhaps they are afraid they will be judged by their past mistakes or current problems. That is why it is so essential to build a good rapport with our clients. From there they will feel more confidence to share their hurts with us. From there, we can help them grow by giving support, unconditional positive regard, and challenging the ‘inconsistencies between their beliefs and actions’. Somehow, we will be able to help others find wellness and that is so exciting to think about. We will have the skills to make a positive impact on our future client’s lives when they have no one else to turn to. Good job on your thought provoking post,
Jenna.