Facing
Secrets
By: Jenna Beever
Caption:
Shhhh
URL:
https://flic.kr/p/8NEiE9
I know there have been times in my
own life where I was struggling through something and felt too ashamed to tell
anyone. It bottled up inside until I was ready to explode with depression,
guilt, worry, and anxiety. When I kept all my burdens to myself, I was
suffering, but when I decided to use the resources around me, and share with a
mentor, I had finally felt free. I could feel the emotional weights being
lifted off of me. It is normal to have secrets, however, sharing these dark
parts of life can be very difficult (Richards & Sillars, 2012).
“You are only as sick as your
darkest secret” is used by Alcoholics Anonymous to encourage participants to be
open and honest (Young, 2017, p. 127). As first this quote might sound
intimidating to people who are vulnerable, but it sheds light on something
meaningful to the healing process. Personal disclosure of the unknown parts of
one’s life can be therapeutic. For example, negative thoughts occur when an
individual suppresses secrets into the private (Richards & Sillars, 2012). While
we cannot force our clients to share with us, we can educate them on the
benefits of self-disclosure, all while building rapport that could support an
open therapeutic atmosphere.
Kelly
and McKillop (1996) shared benefits of disclosure, which are:
- · Reduction in psychological and physical problems
- · Accountability that affects behavior
- · Change of power when secret is suppressed
- · Gained insight from viewing from another lens
Further,
these positive effects of self-disclosure might be seen when used when coming
to the Lord. Even though He already knows our hurts, we can share them with Him
in prayer to seek for help and guidance. This step of faith, by sharing our
pain with God, can be beneficial as our relationship with Him grows.
Reference
Kelly,
A., & McMillop, K. (1996). Consequences of revealing personal secrets. Psychological Bulletin, 120(3), 450.
Richards,
A., & Sillars, A. (2014). Imagined interactions as predictors of secret
revelation and health. Communication
Research, 41(2), 236-256.
Young,
M. (2017). Learning the art of helping, 6th
edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.
Great thoughts, Jenna! I also find it very interesting that keeping secrets does not seem to be healthy for us. Humans seem to long for someone to confide in, someone who fully understands them, yet accepts them. Yes, in our Christian faith, we have that someone with whom we can confide. Our Lord also encourages us to confess to one another and that we “may be healed” (James 5). I agree that we will not be able to force future clients to disclose secrets, but what a privilege it is to provide a safe environment where a person can share and hopefully witness some of the benefits themselves.
ReplyDelete