Encouragement Vs. Praise
How many of you love receiving praise from other individuals? Doesn't it feel good to have someone approve of you? Although we naturally love receiving praise, we as counselors, should carefully try and avoid using praise with our clients. Praise can put counselors "in the role of a judging parent and the client in the role of an obedient child" (Young, 2017, p. 249).
Do you remember how proud you would be as a child receiving a job well done from your parent? I bet you wanted nothing more than to do that specific task over again, so that you could receive that smile, hug, cookie etc. On the other hand, can you remember a time you did not do so well? Think about how much shame you may have felt after "missing the mark". These two feelings can bring more harm than good. For example, if you told your client "You are doing great", you are implying that the client should try that particular response again. This can infer that the client's specific implemented behavior or practice should be repeated the same way every time. After all, "they are doing great". So, what happens when the client does not preform this particular behavior? They may begin to feel like they are not doing "great". For this reason, we try and avoid appraisal.
I know you may be asking "well, now what?". Now, is the time to implement encouragement. How many of you love cake? Okay, how many of you also know how essential butter is to a cake?Encouragement is like the butter to our cake. As a cake needs butter as an essential ingredient, we as counselors need to implement encouragement. "Encouragement skills include demonstrating concern for clients through active listening and empathy; communicating respect for, and confidence in, clients; focusing on clients' strengths, assets, and resources; helping clients generate perceptual alternatives for discouraging fictional beliefs; focusing on efforts and progress; and helping clients see the humor in life experiences" ( as cited in Watts & Dale, 2000, p. 444). As you can see, the purpose of encouragement is to inspire (Young, 2017). As the client leaves the counseling session, he or she should leave with the courage to be imperfect, new ways to implement solutions, and an increased level of hope (Wong, 2015; Young, 2017).
It is our job to help our clients function outside of the counseling office. Our clients need to have witty and creative ways to respond to challenges in their lives. If we praise our clients instead of encouraging them we could be limiting their options for solutions in the future. So instead of saying "You are doing great", try using "You've been being really consistent lately at achieving your goals". This encourages your client, rather than praising them.
I think that this was a really interesting find because I was not aware of the difference between praise and encouragement. Discovering how harmful praise can be has made me more conscious about monitoring my appraisal while in sessions. It is definitely easy to confuse the two. However, after reading examples in our book I have a greater understanding of the two entities.
References
Watts, R. E., & Pietrzak, D. (2000). Adlerian "encouragement" and the therapeutic process of solution-focused brief therapy. Journal of Counseling and Development : JCD, 78(4), 442.
Wong, Y. J. (2015). The psychology of encouragement: Theory, research, and applications Ψ. The Counseling Psychologist, 43(2), 178-216. doi:10.1177/001100001454509
Young, M. E. (2017). Learning the art of helping: building blocks and techniques (6th ed.). Boston: Pearson.
Dominique, I am glad that you chose to write on such an important topic. You are right when you stated that we enjoy giving and receiving praise in our relationships with others. However, the therapeutic relationship is a very different kind of relationship. It is one that is established on unconditional positive regard. When the counselor begins to assign value to a client’s stories or reports, the client may decide to selectively share or even embellish stories in order to gain the counselor’s praise. Encouragement, on the other hand, instills a sense of perseverance in a client regardless of his/her “good” or “bad” reports. Subsequently, perseverance is a key element in personal change and growth.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very helpful post. You made the difference between encouragement and praise in counseling vey clear and understandable. I have noticed that this can be challenging in my practice sessions. We have learned that we should be cautious about praise because we do not want our clients to seek it from us, or to think that they only get praise from us when they do certain things. If we focus on encouragement to inspire the client, we will be helping them so much more than if we were to try to praise them from achieving a goal or not practicing a negative behavior.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post Dominique! Found this to be very well written and highly informational. Creating a distinction between these two forms as this will greatly benefit how we help a counselee move in a positive direction without creating a relationship in which our counselee is seeking our approval. This article would be very beneficial to any counseling student.
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